I have always enjoyed meeting with pastors and listening to their stories. Since I served as a pastor for many years I had natural connections to these brave leaders and am privileged to hear their private thoughts. I don’t want to say that every one of those visits is a carbon copy of the others, but even someone as dense as me couldn’t help but notice the pattern that they fall into. First we talk about our lives, say about our kids or the housing market. Then we talk about the ministry. Pastors always have some cool element of the church that they want to tell you about or ask advice about. Finally when the steam runs out of the ministry discussion we get to the elephant in the room – the conflict or stress that seems to be inherent in pastoral ministry.
The source of the stress is usually the expectations and
behaviours of congregation members combined with the inability of pastors to
deal with the resulting tension. People expect a lot out of their ministers and
when they don’t get it their complaints can get quite personal. After all, the
defective product is not a micro wave or a garden gnome but the pastor.
Normally people avoid those who dislike and criticize them, but the minister is
forced to not only continue in association with such people but to try to be
their shepherd and guide. When this dynamic enters the church it is difficult
for the minister to continue for long.
How bad is it?
An
excellent book on this topic, Pastors at Even
Greater Risk starts with a number of sobering statistics from the world of
the minister:
• 80 percent believe
that pastoral ministry affects their families negatively.
• 33 percent say that
being in ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
• 75 percent report
they’ve had a significant stress-related crisis at least once in their
ministry.
• 50 percent feel
unable to meet the needs of the job.
• 90 percent feel
they’re inadequately trained to cope with ministry demands.
• 40 percent report a
serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.[1]
The dangers
ministers face is further reflected in the number of them that leave the
ministry. According to the Barna Group, “the average pastoral career lasts only 14
years, and 1,500 pastors leave their assignments every month in the United States because of conflict, burn-out or moral
failure.”[2]
The net effect of
this exodus is significant. The fact that there does not seem to be a
noticeable lack of pastors does not reflect the reality that rookies are
replacing veterans. Perhaps more noticeable are the church splits and acrimony
that sometimes accompany difficult pastoral departures.
I don't write here
very often, but I want to dedicate the next few articles I do to addressing
this problem. I like to think that if we were more aware of it we could make
life a little easier for our ministers. It would be great if those stats above
were reversed so that potential pastors could look forward to the awesome parts
of the job.
Personal Fulfillment
Indeed
there are many cool things about being a minister. While the dropout rate is high, the work is meaningful. A survey by
Focus on the Family noted that 87% of ministers were ‘mostly or very fulfilled’
by their role as a pastor.[3] I think this is what I
expected as a new minister. I got into the job to help people and make a
difference in the world, and to some degree I was able to do that.
In what
other profession do you get the chance to welcome babies into the world, lead
people to the Lord, baptize them, disciple them, marry them and be there at the
end of their lives? Sitting here writing about this I can think of many
occasions at each of those stages where families welcomed me into their fold
and gave me the awesome privilege of sharing those happy or sober moments. I
tell pastoral students about the challenges of church politics and the high
expectations of the congregation but I also tell them that if they can deal
with those things there are great rewards in seeing the kingdom of God
I would
encourage you to take a moment to pray for your pastoral team and to give them
a smile or a kind word when you next meet. In closing we could remember Hebrews
13:17
which asks us to, "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they
are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.
Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no
advantage to you."
By Jason Gayoway
Published in The Daily Herald Tribune December 10, 2015
[1]
London
